


Distraction

by soufflegirl91



Series: 007 Fest Creations [14]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Mission Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 08:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Bond is on a mission to diffuse a bomb. Q is trying to direct him.





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to Tumblr.
> 
> For the classic Bond prompt "countdown timer"

"The bomb should definitely be on this floor, 007. Tread carefully.”

“That’s easier said than done, Q. You didn’t tell me that these idiots decided to take ‘the floor is lava’ literally.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? Contrary to popular belief, Q branch is not a department full of psychics. Besides, it isn’t lava, it’s some sort of pitch. If you bring some home with you, I’d be able to tell you what it was.”

“I won’t be able to bring myself home if I stick to the floor before this bloody bomb goes off, Q!”

“Right. Yes. Bomb. Blueprints show that there should be three corridors branching off ahead. We believe the bomb to be on the left side of the building, but that still leaves two options.”

“So which one am I taking?”

“Hmm, based on the positioning of the boiler room, I’d say the likelihood is it’s down the second corridor.”

“Second corridor, got it.”

“On the LEFT, Bond. Left! No, your other left!”

“You said the second corridor!”

“I said the second on the left. There are three, two left and one right. Just... turn around. Preferably without losing a shoe, God knows what’s in that stuff.”

“You try hopping around trying to avoid the tar on the floor, Q, and see how well YOU process directions from the person distracting you by prattling on in your ear.”

...

“Q.”

...

“Q, are you there?”

...

“Q? Second corridor on the left, and then what?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to distract you from your predicament, 007.”

“Come on, Q, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How many doors are up ahead, 007?”

“You know you’re the best handler I’ve ever had.”

“How many doors?”

“Five. Two left, two right, one at the end. Where am I headed?”

“It could be anywhere along here, 007. Four minutes to detonation. Time is of the essence. No time for distractions, after all.”

“Noted. Trying all doors in a clockwise direction.”

“God speed, 007. Q branch standing by.”

“First left, clear.”

“Three minutes, thirty-seven seconds.”

“Second left, clear.”

“Two minutes, fifty-one seconds.”

“End, clear.”

“Two minutes, thirty-six. Hurry this up if you can.”

“Got it! Far right door.”

“Two minutes, nine seconds. How does it look?”

“Like a bomb, Q, how do you think?! Three wires, red, green and blue. Which one do I need to cut?”

“Standby, 007, working on it.”

“Q. One minute left.”

“Give me a second, 007.”

“Q. Which wire?”

“Red. No, blue! Damn it!”

“Q, twenty-three seconds.”

“Sod it. Bond, cut all the wires. It’s imperative you cut them all at exactly the same time. Twelve seconds left.”

“On it.”

...

“007?”

...

“Bond?”

...

“James, are you there?"

"Here, Q. The timer has stopped. No sign of a secondary trigger.”

“Confirmed, 007. Sending in bomb disposal unit now. You can get out of there.”

“Thanks, Q. Oh, and Q?”

“Yes, 007?”

“I’m sorry for calling you a distraction. You’re the best kind of distraction.”

“I’ll see you in London, James.”


End file.
